I’ve recently been stuck on this train of thought, so I think it's only natural that I try to extract it from the Google Docs file that is my mind and make it tangible.
I’m not sure how tangible this will be; I’m just going to type and hope for the best.
I hate creativity. I feel like I have never had a creative thought in my entire life. This has manifested as hate for art itself in the last few years, although you will always be able to find me in a gallery. I suppose this is because you are surrounded by art much older than you, your thoughts, and ideas.
You will not, or hardly ever, be able to find me in the modern art section of an art gallery because I can not stop myself from saying the incredible clique sentence, ‘But I could have done that.’ when in reality, what I should be saying is ‘I wish I could have been creative enough to think of doing that.’ Yes, sure, It might just be a blue spot on a white canvas, and yes, I could have done that, but I didn’t.
I am a firm believer that creativity does not exist, but I am also a firm believer that it just doesn't exist for me. I’m sure that a Google search will show you thousands upon thousands of far more educated people talking about this subject, but have they sat in an art class just to have people remind them that there is nothing special in drawing precisely what you saw in front of you? Even though it was an excellent painting of an apple, it was just an apple.
I remember looking over at the girl beside me. She held her brush loosely, and her colours were off, but her apple had a personality. Her apple told the viewer that she saw the world differently than they did, that they just saw an apple, but she saw this blob of pinks and blues that they would have never seen.
Or she could have just been colour-blind, and I’m giving her far too much credit for creating a masterpiece.
Sometimes, I wonder why I stopped painting and started acting. When it comes to acting, the closer you get to real life, the better you are at your job. Honestly, there is a lack of creativity when it comes to acting. You need creativity to make exciting acting choices, but those choices come from living.
Something we all do.
I speak the words someone creative wrote, I wear the costume someone creative sewed, and I stand while someone else frames the shot in a new and creative way. I just mimic life to the best of my abilities, and sometimes, I get told I’m good at it. No one questions if my version of life is creative enough because it needs no creativity. As I said, we all breathe, we all communicate, and we all live.
And maybe there is creativity in that.
In the act of living itself.
Sure, maybe I’m not the first person to think of these things and write them down, but I am the first me, and there is creativity in the air I breathe.
Or maybe it’s just oxygen, and I’m running out of things to write about.
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