Below is a short word excerpt of a journal entry by me recorded around 2019, just before COVID hit. a time when the world fell silent but our thoughts ran freely.
oh. a word so desperately used by those who seek it. a stigma we want to hone for the kind of life we want. a persona that most want to BE SEEN as. just things to be ‘perfect’. however PERFECTION is a lead to destruction. the layers of expectations, imperfections, and lies within striving for perfection break the barriers of FREEDOM that bears no escape but to then destroy perfection itself. life time and time again proves that its full of imperfections and beautiful lessons from mistakes that perfection really is only a manifesto to hide the imperfection of the world.
— by Kristine Anne.
As of today: 2024, it’s been five years since I’ve recorded that entry and is something I keep in my phone as a digital copy re-written as a reminder to myself.
lately this feeling and desire has been a lingering thought, a constant mind disturbance in moments when i, and I’m sure most people, feel like everything just isn’t right. it happens when most occurrence of something in your path isn’t going as planned, something so mundane ie. your job was just failing you that day, to something grand of a goal like that dream you’ve been chasing but the blocks have been hindering the path and you JUST WANT THINGS TO BE PERFECT, ‘WHY IS IT NOT’ .
then you remind yourself, perfection is non-existent. something can FEEL perfect, like a ‘perfectly’ good meal you’ve just eaten but to consider perfection as an achievement will never actually be PERFECT. Because once perfect is ‘achieved’ , destruction is its greatest opponent.
So as an insight, of those of you who have been in this similar rut, or sometimes FEEL instances or rushes of panic that things aren’t going smoothly and wanting things and questioning why can’t life just be “perfect”, to remember that striving for perfection to ultimately be a goal connected to your purpose or the “bigger picture” of your life, is just a gazebo feeling of what real success feels like.
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