Dear Spark,
“I was primed to explore new ideas, a new model of living, a path that veered from the one everyone (including myself) assumed I would take. I wanted to grow as a person. I didn’t want to know humility or compassion and empathy only as abstract concepts, I wanted to live them. I didn’t want discipline, character, and integrity to just be things I read about. I wanted to live them.” -Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty
There’s a part of me that want to start my every blog post with a ‘dear diary’ mostly because what I’ve realised, is I like to share my knowledge about life experience and has become an integral part of my every day living: is to share the ‘deep stuff’. the stuff that most people usually feel uncomfortable to speak about.
It’s been over a month since my last post on this blog (thanking Rose for the opportunity to have this space yet again) of us women having a space to be able to speak my mind, not in video form nor “tiktok” but like the ~old’school~ way, by words. Writing is a super personal attribution of me and my personality, rather hobby, because it comes to me naturally. The same goes for singing and music. Lately I have indeed, found myself writing more; mostly about my recent experiences from my new shift of my path much recently.
Long story short (and more opportunities to expand my reflections on it here if I may so be open again), I ~FINALLY~ have taken the biggest leap of my life towards my dream to become an actor, currently training intensively under one of the most prestigious and hardcore school and trying for film and television acting previously this July (hence my absence from the previous month’s post), all in good timing. Fast forward to now, it has been OFFICIALLY 7 weeks since I’ve been intensively training with renowned working actors and coaches within the industry who’s worked with familiar faces such as Chris Hemsworth and yadda yadda.
But that’s not what I wanted to talk about for this post specifically, but more so a backstory, a relevant relationship to what I wanted to share from what I’ve learnt from the whole experience so far AS WELL as the quote about from Jay Shetty’s “Think Like A Monk” book. (Maybe on my next blog entry, I’ll share more about my experience so far as an intensive actor trainee, as a chance to be able to share to my friends and family also, in the best way that I can: in the form of my writing from my own perspective)
Continuing on, what I wanted to share from this whole experience is ‘My Purpose’. In just under 7 weeks of intensive training, and with my deep love for Jay Shetty’s mindset podcast + book, I noticed, under that short amount of time, the shift of my purpose in life, both as an actor and as a person. See I struggle, still some days now and then, with who I really am and what my purpose is in this lifetime; and whenever I deeply think about it, often times I get overwhelmed or simply just confused, rather sad other times because all I knew is that I want to make people happy. To inspire others, but in the way that I possibly can through what I now best: performing, creating and to be indulged in the performing arts. Now I already sound SO CHEESY, but when you really think about YOUR PURPOSE, some people think, that it always has to be so deep? When really it’s as simple as who you are and what you do in your everyday life that serve purpose. To be honest, I’m quite a grounded person despite being sometimes deemed “too much” or too high excited about a lot of things, however you only see this trait when I am comfortable or incredibly passionate about what I do (which is 90% of the time about either topics: films, acting, cameras, anything to do with theatre and the performing arts) but what is really my purpose? This part of the quote Jay Shetty expressed: “I didn’t want to know humility or compassion and empathy only as abstract concepts, I wanted to live them” recently struck to me, because of the way that it resonated to how I’ve been living recently. Obviously most days it’s difficult, but other days that I sincerely want to live my life, I’ve been living through this reference as a guide, that it simply is that. Purpose.
Purpose has been something that I’ve been deeply expanding my knowledge from and really digging to the core of what my purpose is. For some it’s simply waking up in the morning and being able to get up for the day, the purpose of living; it’s as simple as that. But because I have been in this journey with my pursuit to make my dream come true to finally become an actor (which I can, again one day share more about really soon) I have gained more wisdom from just the seven weeks we’ve been training, is that having my current dreams of today as my purpose is what keeps me going. What keeps me functioning and what gives me clarity to then expand life to then inspire others.
My voice coach did share: if you don’t know what you want, you can’t execute a scene naturally and all that’s left is a jumble of lines/words without true intentions and feelings. It’s bland.
And with that just one lesson, my whole life and perspective took a great shift to applying it to my every day life.
Anyways, that’s all for now, I hope this somehow brings a different eye and view on what YOUR purpose is life and what actually matters vs the big goals. I hope you reading this right now, can see where I’m coming from and the deep understanding behind being sure about knowing what you want out of your own life to be able to then live it.
Purpose.
Sincerely mindblown,
Love always, see you next month for a new diary entry and more life reflections from a learning actor
Yours truly,
Kristine.
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